knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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Yo momma is so stupid when she drove to Disney World she saw that said "Disney World Left" so she turned on her turn signal and made a left turn. She promptly arrived at Disney World but realized she had left her wallet at the hotel.

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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what's white and sticky semen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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