Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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