An iguana walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

thumb_up thumb_down +24

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's 1+1? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

thumb_up thumb_down

make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops