Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops