What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops