why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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Guess what? SHADAP

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus.

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Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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1+1= 69

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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