Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did Mary fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Who pushed johnny of the cliff? Certainly not Mary

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops