What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? .The Police The Police who? ..The Police The Police who? ...The Police The Police who? ....The Police The Police who? .....The Police The Police who? ......The Police The Police who? .......The Police The Police who? ........The Police The Police who? .........The Police The Police who? ..........The Police The Police who? Forget this. *Gunshot*

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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