What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

why am I writing this...im bored

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

Why do people make jokes about cancer? Oviously to get thier ass kicked!!! -BY:KOLBY HOOKS

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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