Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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