Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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I went to work today....

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Once upon a time there was a magical duck in a magical kingdom. Nothing interesting ever happened to it and it was eaten by a magical fox.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

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A man died.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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