HEY!

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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