Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A broken boomerang

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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What's just not right? Left

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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