What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Good job, son.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops