How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. Why did the man die? A. Natural Causes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I don't believe in giraffes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +7

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops