ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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