What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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