How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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