why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

all these jokes are horrible now

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...