What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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Black people having a Job.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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