What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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