Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

69...you know how awkward this is now...

Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

How old are you? 7

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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