Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Nickelback

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops