Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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This is a story of Bobbie He was fat so he got bullied at school he did not have any friends. He ate a lot and watched the television. He was called names such as big, fat, an idiot, clumsy. But he begun to realise that if he was smart, he could become rich. So he studied hard and hard, but he did not become better at it. So he thought I want to succeed in sports, so he began exercising and was on a strict diet, but nothing changed. He was still fat and unfit. Then one day he knew that he couldn't succeed. So he asked God, what is the purpose of me living, why can't I have something, maybe a talent. God replied I'm sorry but I can't give you a talent. You have to figure it out by yourself. Then Bobbie knew what his talent was. So the following morning Bobbie went to www.anti-joke.com and began writing jokes. Octopus. Bye

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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There was once a man who lived in a box.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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