Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Oh s***

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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