What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

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Women's Rights

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why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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