Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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