a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

Jack Stevens

Yo momma is So Fat? And isn't your cousin Chow Yun Fat? I think I know some of the Fat family. How are they all doing?

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

Burp

Katy Perry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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