What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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