Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your mum

thumb_up thumb_down +1

As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops