I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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List of people I love: Hitler Stalin Mussolini Ted Bundy Charles Manson Hannibal Lecter Vladamir Putin Satan Justin Beiber One Direction Chris Brown Chris Brown's parents Oh, and my mother. I love my mother, too.

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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This is an anti- joke

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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