Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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