Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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whats nun plus nun two nuns haha!! from jarod :}

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops