How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Why did the mexican wash his car? The car was dirty

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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A women left the kitchen.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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If you don`t see a banner here, it doesn`t mean it wont come back to annoy you whenever it feels like.... P.S, Advertising helps us get rich while permanently harming your ability to focus, Please be understanding! PS: Why the hell do they use capital letters after you know, Commas? its, Weird!

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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