why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops