What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

well now

thumb_up thumb_down +33

CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops