What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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Who invented apple? God

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Balls

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, he doesn't let a minor disablity distract him from having a good time.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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