An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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An man walks to a bra

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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There was once a man who lived in a box.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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