How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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Q: Why did the black man fall off of the cliff? A: He was the victim of a hate crime and his body had to be dumped somewhere

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Why did the boy play Xbox? Because its a quality source of entertainment

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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