What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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ure mama's so fat

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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