I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

thumb_up thumb_down -1

who is smarter than a human? a nerd

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man stop playing his computer game? The SWAT busted down his door and quickly pinned him down and arrested him for the murder of 7 families, he was charged for life in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops