Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Caramel Boing.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops