what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock go away!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops