Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Men

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops