A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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