Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops