Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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c======3

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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