What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

Q. Why did the man die? A. Natural Causes

what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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