did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops