Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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