Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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My children are mistakes

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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