Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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