what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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