How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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SUCK MY NUTS

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops