How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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women's rights

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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