Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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the economy.

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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