what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

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A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Seven was black

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To pick up the remains of the thousands of his friends that lost their lives to this joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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YOLO

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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