A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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The Ohio State Buckeyes

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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you see theres this guy.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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What's 2+2? Fish

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What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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