I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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ProX hacker JazZ Has aids hahahaha

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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